September 10, 2018 was one of the worst, hardest and also best days I’ve ever been through. I wouldn’t be able to count the number of different emotions I experienced the last two days.
Fear. Rage. Sadness. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Nervousness. Happiness.
And a lot of tears.
It was the tears of absolute exhaustion and fear in the evening. The next day afternoon, it was the tears of happiness. And I don’t cry often.
Yes, finally, after six years, I got my master’s degree. I finished university and it cost me a lot more than I expected.
I finished my studies in January. In Czech Republic, you have to pass last three fucking hard exams to prove you deserve that degree. So in January, I passed two of them and I failed the third one, so I had to repeat it in June.
In June, I had a second attempt, for which I prepared like never before. I learned everything by heart, and I was sure it was going to go well this time. But when I sat down, I forgot everything. Total blackout. Too much stress, nervousness, and generally I guess I was too excited about getting the degree. I was unable to compose one coherent sentence, so I failed it again.
You can only imagine the pressure on the third attempt. I knew, that if I don’t pass, three years of studying would go to hell and I would end up with a bachelor’s degree. By the end of August, I included my mom into my studying. I was telling her every single topic. From dawn to dusk. So if there’s someone because of who I’ve nailed it like a boss on my third attempt, it’s her because her support was absolutely priceless. She was here for me when I hysterically ripped all the materials and cried over the stacks of papers. She was here for me when I needed to clean the apartment, do grocery shopping or cook. She was here for me when I couldn’t sleep at night.
And on Monday, I went to the classroom at 1:30pm, calm as never before. I took those three questions and a ten-page case study (which is now a part of the state exam on the University of Economics), sat down and started writing like it was a race. I didn’t even notice the drops of sweat dropping from my forehead, dissolving my notes, which I wrote with my green ink pen. I got in front of the commission and started talking. I was so pumped up, that no one actually dared to cut my speech. I didn’t even finish the last question because one of the professors said: “Well, Miss Hudcova, that would be enough.Thank you.” I stood up, got my stuff and threw a joke. I knew I had it. That feeling. Oh my God.
When they called us for the results, they told everyone except me. Then they told me that the best performance was done by me and that I got an A. I almost passed out. Nobody could take it from me anymore. I got an A from all three state exams. The first one I called was my mom who started screaming something into the phone even though she works in an open office. I didn’t understand a word. But I guess she was happy.
So this article bis dedicated to her because without her I might have been just a bachelor. Mom (and actually everyone who tolerated my moods and gave me tons of support), THANK YOU.
Dress – Zoot
Shoes – Asos
Bag – Paul’s Boutique (via Zoot.cz)
Watch – Komono (via Freshlabels.cz)